Joseph asks…
How long will it take me to get over the effects of the bullying?
I used to be a really lively and confident kid until I started getting emotionally bullied age 6. The bullying wasn’t too bad but it was always there in the background, building up over the years. At age 8 I developed anxiety from it which led to health problems with my stomach which then led to weight gain. I’d always been active and loved sports but the bullying had knocked my confidence so much I stopped meaning the weight got out of hand. By age 11 I was overweight and getting bullied even more because of it. Age 12 the bullying finally stopped but I was still fat and hated myself by then. I had barely any friends because I pushed everyone away thinking I wasn’t worth their friendship. I started recovering from it around age 14 and I had one good friend at school. Age 16 I was doing pretty well until I found out this ‘friend’ had just been using me all along. She turned on me for something stupid and basically told me to never speak to her again. That was in October, by November I had glandular fever, post viral fatigue syndrome by New Years and chronic fatigue syndrome in March. I’m now 17, I’ve felt crap about myself since the whole thing back in October. I’ve made new friends but we’re not close. I’ve fucked up year 12 and I’m still ill. I know that a lot of my feelings are due to the CFS but I just always feel down and I have lost weight since I was younger but I’m still a bit overweight at 5″10, 74kg but because of my health right now any attempt to lose it makes me sicker.
I don’t have any friends or family I can turn to and I’ve just been feeling really alone for the past couple years :/ I know everyone says it gets better but I feel like every attempt I make to make it better just fails and leave me worse off. How long will it take to fix everything?
Please help.
weight loss cardiff answers:
Even without bullying, the teen years are the absolute worst time of your life. I’m surprised any of us survive it. You are struggling with so much stress, pressures, changes… Your body and mind are trying to cope but … It’s hard, dealing with unpredictable hormones and roller coaster emotions.
I think bullies should be expelled and sent to military school. You never really forget about it but bad memories will start fading fast as soon as you forgive those idiots.
The brain is a very complicated and delicate thing. It can get messed up and be unable to produce any or enough serotonin. This is called a chemical imbalance which is easily treated, very common and nothing to be ashamed of.
It can cause depression, anxiety, panic, obsession, self harm/self hatred, suicidal thoughts, eating disorders, sleeping problems, aggression/rage, anger, phobias, fears, helplessness, hopelessness, hypochondria, ADHD, paranoia, OCD, headaches, lack of interest in things, lack of motivation/ focus and much more.
Ask a dr. For anti-depressants. Zoloft/Sertraline is a good one; most people thrive on it and it has no side effects. With antidepressants, you will be much better, happier, calmer, confident, relaxed and feel normal. What a difference it makes!
According to nearly everyone who’s been to therapists, they don’t help much. They aren’t even allowed to prescribe appropriate meds to help you get better. Don’t stop taking the meds once you start to feel better. You need them, so stay on them.
But meds can do only so much. God is the ONLY one who knows what you’re thinking, how you’ve struggled and what you’re going thru. He loves you passionately and wants to be your BFF. He has a super deluxe custom made plan for your life that’s beyond anything you ever dreamed of.
BUT He waits for us to ask. Invite Him into your heart; ask Him to take over your life and your problems. You will feel so much better. You are His special masterpiece. He planned for you before He even created the universe.
Watch Him ease the stress and give you peace in it’s place. He is on YOUR side. He never stops thinking about you. His thoughts toward you are more than the grains of sand on the beach (Psalm 139).
Find a big, HAPPY church, attend some groups and have fun. Talk with the pastor or youth pastor; he has more wisdom than you or I. And where else can you get counseling for free? Troubled people need PEACE. A good pastor can show you how to have perfect peace.
God loves you more than you can possibly imagine!! 🙂
Michael asks…
How to get rid of weight quickly?
I’m 19, 51.5kg (113lbs) and want to lose some weight, I feel horrible and fat and nasty and hate it when I’m in the shower, I end up crying or feeling sick just looking at myself.
I eat healthily anyway, 6 fruit and veg a day, no junk, etc. But lately to try and lose weight I’m eating less than 1000 calories a day, easily– the last week went something like this:
Monday- 600 calories
Tues- 400 calories
Weds- 300 calories
Thurs- 800 calories
Fri- 350 calories
Sat- 900 calories
Sunday- 400 calories
And today I’ve totalled 600, which I feel pretty bad about.
Anyway, in addition to all of this, I’m walking about an hour a day and doing some toning exercises at home, and a little extra cardio, etc.
But I got my period briefly last week, and I think I’m still retaining water. How do I get rid of this? I’m guessing so cos my weight randomly went up 2lbs within a day, between Monday and Tuesday. I’m really upset about it and worried when my doctor weighs me next week. I finished my period within 2 days, it stopped really abruptly for whatever reason. There’s no way I can be pregnant.
I previously suffered from anorexia for three years, and my boyfriend seems to think I’m relapsing, but I don’t think he’s right. I just want to lose some weight. Any help?
I’m 5’4, sorry, should have included that.
weight loss cardiff answers:
Hi Sophie,
You are not 19 years old… You weight 51.5kgs (113 lbs)… Let me see if I get this right… You want to LOSE weight?!
As a personal trainer and believer in life, I can rest assure you that your boyfriend is right.
However, it won’t matter what me or your boyfriend says (eventhough it’s true), you have to figure out for yourself and realize for yourself the problem here.
Life is to short to worry about your body. 30-40 years from now, you WILL be looking back at this time thinking about how great your body looked and how stupid you were for thinking the way you were thinking… I know this because it’s EXACTLY what happened to me and it’s EXACTLY what my wife thinks when she looks back at herself when she was 19-20 years old.
Eating less than 1000 calories per day is not good. It’s not good at all. You open yourself up to health issues that might cause you to not live to see your kids grow up.
Stop hating yourself. Start loving yourself. Life’s to short.
Sometimes you’re ahead, and sometimes you’re behind – but in the end.. It’s only with yourself!
Mark asks…
Why did my body switch from hot to cold ?
I used to 70 pounds heavier two years ago and when I was fatter I used to get easily hot . I used to go to out when it was 45 degrees outside loving how the cold felt . But ever since I lost weight I get cold very easily . Everyone could be complaining about how hot it is and I could be find or cold . At night I often turn of the fan because it’s too cold . Is this normal ?
weight loss cardiff answers:
Making fat reserves is not just a storage system, for all the calories (and fat soluble vitamins) that you ate but did not use; whether they were dietary fat calories or protein calories or carbs…Those got stored and became a secondary energy source (after blood sugar) that you can use for physical activities, or when you’re sick and cannot eat (because your immune system gets priority over digestion). It’s really a question of survival. Your body is trying to make sure you’re ready for any contingency.
Body fat is used for other purposes as well, like INSULATION from cold (winter) or hot (summer) temperatures, or the opposite if your use A/C, fans, heat system then you get too hot in the winter or too cold in the summer.
Body fat also provides protection (cushioning) for your internal organs against external injuries and produces hormones (adipose tissue = fat stored on your body, is an important endocrine organ).
Skinny people or athletic muscular ones are particularly annoying as they’re too cold (in the winter) or too hot (in the summer) because they lack body insulation (body fat). They are extremely annoying if they try to take control of the A/C or heat system without regards for others or who’s paying the utility bills.
You can turn off a fan if you’re too cold but do not do that if somebody is sleeping with you and that person would get too hot without the fan, trying to save money on using a fan instead of cooling a whole house at night. Wear some layers of clothes and get a blanket if you’re cold so the other person won’t be too hot…it’s an endless battle between man/woman couples sleeping together with different BFP (I’m for separate beds/bedroom).
When you’re too hot (in the summer) and cannot handle 80F (26.66C) while it’s 100F outside…unless you’re paying the utility bills, you have no right to selfishly crank the temperature down to 70F or 75F, forcing other people to have to wear sweaters while it’s 100F outside and getting higher bills that are costly and it’s unsafe for the environment.
In a ship wreck with harsh weather, you don’t get the “women and the children first to life boats” just because of politeness…it’s also because kids and women have a higher BFP (Body Fat Percentage) and are more likely to survive hypothermia, while a man with more muscle mass would stand no chance and would go into shock pretty fast when his core body temperature would get too low.
Either you regain some body fat insulation…or you wear extra layers and sleep with extra blankets if you’re cold, or you use a fan and a wet hand clothes to keep cold when it’s too hot.
It’s funny when you’re comfortable but your skin feels very cold to the touch, where you have body fat (like the breasts, the butt, the thighs or the belly), so you keep a perfect body core temperature, while your husband is complaining that it’s too hot, because his skin feels warm everywhere as he does not have enough body fat…always aiming for muscle definition.
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