Is there anything actually wrong with me?

I would just like to add before I write/type any further. I know that there are people out there that will assume some questions posted by users on Yahoo answers are attention-seeking or looking for sympathy. I wanted to notify you that my question is genuine and I am NOT looking for any sympathy of any kind. I apologize if this post or question is too long.

Hi, I am 14 years old and well, the question above is pretty much self explanatory.

I guess I’ll start off then. Lately, I have been feeling quite down, but I didn’t know, and I still don’t know why. I assumed it was all this puberty thing and thought it was normal. But it’s been like this for a while. I thought if I wrote my feelings down, it would make me feel better but it doesn’t have seem to have done some good. I kind of gave up on that.

I suppose I will explain my situation at the moment. It’s been like this for years. My parents work late (they’re in the same business) so I hardly ever get to see them. This is pretty much my routine: Wake up, see my parents for about half hour, go to school, come home, see my parents for 15 minutes, they go to work, I’m home alone until around 11pm, my parents come home, and I sleep. My two sisters have basically flown the nest, one lives about 50 miles away and my other sister is at university. I’ve told my mother that I feel alone all the time and she’s suggested that I go around my cousin’s house and stay there until she comes home but the thing is, I always feel like I am bothering them and I don’t want to. So I declined. My mum told my sister about it and she rang home every day. For a week that is. So maybe I figure my loneliness is maybe part of the problem.

You might tell me ‘why not just go out when your parents are at work’? I am painfully shy and I don’t have really much of a social life. I have very few friends at school and I don’t really talk much. I try to be a little more confident but I get scared that I will make a fool out of myself so I don’t. To others, people look at me like I’m a happy person but the way I’m feeling deep down, I don’t think I am. I am aware that I do have some confidence issues but doesn’t everyone? To be honest, I feel and I look ugly and I keep thinking people look at me because of my ugliness. I decided to take action two years ago where I ate nothing for breakfast and skipped lunch and tried to eat food to the minimum for dinner. My parents weren’t around at dinner so I guess I could easily hide my eating habits. I constantly weighed myself every day but I would be disappointed as I didn’t lose weight. This kind of went on for like a year before my mum mentioned that if I weighed anything less than 7 stones she’d sent me to the hospital. It kind of scared me so I ate more. I didn’t know if she noticed I was doing this but I never asked in case she’d get an idea of what I was doing.

My auntie recently died a few months ago and even though we weren’t close we were still family. But since then I have been thinking about death more than usual and how I would die. Run over by a car, murdered, suicide.. etc. I’ve listed in ways how I could die but I know I would never go through suicide because I’m cowardly. And if I did do it, people would call me selfish and I don’t want that. But then I figured maybe it’s natural to think like this. Or maybe it’s not. I don’t know, I’m slightly confused.

I have wanted to tell someone about all this but I’m worried that they’ll say something like ‘it’s normal’ or ‘it’s fine’ to feel like this way because I will, like I said earlier, make a fool out of myself. I also wanted to talk to my school nurse but I never plucked up the courage to do so and I don’t think I ever will because her office is close to where a lot of people hang out so if they see me go in it will spark a lot of attention and I don’t want that. I like to keep things to myself. Anyway it kind of takes me a while to trust anyone let alone freely talk to someone about my concerns. I don’t want to waste any body’s time.

Right now I feel like that I’m sort of bothering you guys because maybe you have dealt with these things so many times and well, maybe my situation is normal. I think I just need some answers as to why I’m feeling like this. I’m sorry if again, I have wasted your time.

Thanks for reading this post and answers would be welcome. Thanks again.

Fight tomorrow but i feel a little weak and I run out of breath so easily.. what should i do?

I had to cut weight for the fight but not too too much.. i cannot eat anything big or drink anything big b/c my weigh ins are tomorrow and i’m only a pound under.. when i do anything i lose breath even climbing stairs and running SHORT distances.. i desperataly need help.. if you know a lot about this kind of stuff i would really like to talk with you about it so feel free to email me at bxmad@yahoo.com.. thank you

How can i stop feeling angry after what i went through and how easily he forgot me?

Hi there! Well a couple of months ago i dated a guy. He was not what i usually date. I usually date guys way older than me and he was just 21 and also Spanish , He didn’t have a degree like the other guys, he worked in construction. The guy was a sweetheart he would just say what deep inside any girl wants to hear plus he was very handsome. The sex was magnificent, it wasn’t just sex it was making love , just amazing. Well he met my family and stuff but i only got to meet his cousins, he will always gimme some excuse of why i couldn’t meet his mother and sister. He also started going out around 7 o clock and not call me till 1 to let me know he was okay. During that period of time he wouldn’t call or text. We started to have problems because of the matter of his actions. Last time we spoke on the phone he told me that he was going to go out to dinner with his mom, i told him to have fun and make sure to call me when he gets home , well he straight forward rudely said “Don’t tell what i have to do”. After that i didn’t call/text him , neither him he never called or text. Three days later i received text messages from him saying whats up and why i wasn’t talking to him. It hurt me but i had to ended. He was one of the few guys i ever really liked but i cant play around the BS , i couldn’t pretend to be happy about something when i wasn’t. A couple of weeks ago i searched his name on FB and found his profile where i saw that a few days later after we broke up he started talking about a girl that was driving him crazy and how happy he was feeling about it. It broke my heart to see that. Since them I’ve lost an incredible amount of weight in just less than two weeks and i feel so angry inside but i also miss him, i feel like loosing weight and changing my hair color or something i could attract him again and sort of revenge him. How can i stop feeling angry? After all i went through with him and i almost threw my future in the garbage for him ???

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